Of Long Talks & Kisses
by Piriluk
Summary: And even though I'm feeling greatly uncomfortable, my heart is all like, 'It's the look, Rin. It's the look. He's giving you the look. He wants to copulate with you.' And my brain is all like, 'He's probably just realised how big the pores are on your nose. You should probably punch him before he notices anything else.' / RINXLEN ONESHOT haha I can't


a/n this just went downhill and I have no fekking idea how I managed to reach over 7k words? I struggle to write the first sentence with errything. this isn't okay.

I _finally_ wrote _something_ though which is a start.

well, enjoy my word-vomit filled glory.

* * *

**OF LONG TALKS & KISSES**

I am _the most_ boring human being you could ever meet. I'm more boring than Mathematics or English. I'm more boring than the music they play in cinemas pre-movie screening. I'm more boring than the summer holidays when you have nothing to do but just melt in the heat.

I'm completely average. My life is average, my clothes are average, my looks are average, my grades are average… Like, I'm so average I'm technically one of those background characters in a TV show who are outshined by the main character.

—The main character being… everyone but me, of course.

I don't even have a sob story—no dramatic upbringing, 'my family was eaten by wolves', that sort of stuff. And the thing is? I'm okay with being so boring and average. I'm just like, yeah. This is my life. This is the best it's going to be. I'm going to graduate school with average scores, get an average job, marry an average man, have average children—live an average life and die an average death, and that's it.

Wow. Okay, maybe I'm not completely okay with it. Probably I would kill myself out of boredom sometime through there, because why _live_ that way?

But yeah. There's nothing about me that could ever, ever be… _extraordinary._

Speaking of extraordinary, the only out-of-average thing about me is that my best friend is completely not boring or mediocre. Len—who is my cousin (actually, no, I'm kidding, he isn't—I thought he was, but I'm guessing the fact that we hung out so much when we were kids because our families were close friends, I established that he must have been a relative, when he in fact, wasn't)—is like, Super Genius and Talented Model Man, otherwise an extraordinary human.

I'm guessing that average people probably shouldn't become besties with extraordinary people in most cases, as a) they're so hard to keep up with, b) we're sometimes on totally different wavelengths, and c) someone extraordinary is very much in the _I want to reproduce with_ category of an average person (due to natural selection), however on the extraordinary person's side, it's more like _this person is cute as in a pet-cat-cute way_, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO REPRODUCE WITH OTHER EXTRAORDINARY PEOPLE, _BECAUSE WHY THE HELL NOT?!_

Do you understand my troubles? As an average person, I shouldn't be having these issues. Like, really, we should have never hit it off as friends in first grade because OF THESE ISSUES. I know Len just wants to be friends with me for the sake of being friends, but me? _ME?_ I WANT TO MARRY HIM AND HAVE HIS CHILDREN BECAUSE !NATURAL SELECTION!, AND IT'S JUST VERY OBVIOUSLY IMPOSSIBLE.

As I said, I have no chance with him. He and Miku—this girl I'm sort-of-friends with—have it going on, and even though they're trying to hide it, it's really obvious. Like they do the gooey-eyed lovers look and always have their secret conversations, sit next to each other at lunch and in class, do stuff together… it's gross. Ever since Miku's existed it hasn't been Len and I—it's been Len, Miku and I.

It's kind of horrible because Miku is also extraordinary. She's pretty, well-endowed, gets good marks, is athletic, talented at several hundred hobbies, blah, blah, blah. Of course Len would like her—she's the epitome of perfect. I'm the epitome of boredom.

And even though I'm trying to peel myself away from the star-crossed lovers to once again join the shadows of the average people, they keep insisting I do everything with them. As a third wheel.

Ladies and gentlemen, Rin Kagamine… is a third wheel!

(By the way, my name is Rin. _Exactly—_the perfect average-human name. And do you know what it means? Cold. Severe. And also, phosphorus. PHOSPHORUS. WHO WOULD WANT TO MARRY SOMEONE NAMED _PHOSPHORUS?_)

I'm not kidding—last week they asked me to go see some soppy romance movie (which I luckily got out of because I had a doctor's appointment), and the week before that I was asked to go out shopping and on a study date (which wasn't fun because I walked behind them the entire time**!** And was completely ignored**!**). This week, on top of that, we went out to karaoke on Thursday afternoon, and the entire time they sung couple songs. I think I sang one song before excusing myself to the bathroom in which I stayed in for about half-an-hour playing on my phone—and they didn't even notice how long I was gone. I left early, making up a lie that my mum wanted me to come home to make dinner, and _god knows_ what they did once I left.

I just wish they'd stop. I understand they probably feel bad because they're doing all this stuff together and not inviting me—Len's (possibly ex) best friend—but like, can't they see I don't want to be a part of it? It's depressing. But how exactly do I tell them I don't want to hang with them anymore without sounding like a bitch? I'm too nice to do that (—opposite to contrary belief).

And now they're trying to get me to go shopping, again, with them this afternoon. I want to cry.

"We were planning to go shopping at Odaiba and go to the bowling alley there, too. Do you want to come?" Len asks, twisting his school tie. Miku's bopping up and down next to him impatiently. We're at the train station—we all walk to the train station together after school. Today is Saturday, and because we only have club activities school finishes at 12.

(…Funny that, Len is usually the one who always asks me to come with them. I'm pretty sure Miku doesn't want me to tag along—but then again, Len probably has her wrapped around his finger and she'd do anything for him.)

"Um," I stammer. Just… say it. Say no. Say you don't want to. "Um, I…"

"And if you wanted we were planning on going to the arcade as well—because we know you like it." Len grins.

Yeah, no, please don't. "Um, I think I might just go home. I'm a little tired, and I think we have guests over tonight so Mum might want me to help clean the house," I lie. God damn it, Rin—why can't you just be honest? Why is it so hard to say, "I don't really want to hang out with you anymore."?

Len's smile falters. _Noooo_, don't do that. "Oh, alright. Are you sure?"

I am sure, sir. I am sure. I nod, looking at my feet. "Sorry."

"It's okay. We'll do something next week, right, Miku?" Len says, nudging Miku in the side.

She seems distracted, but then snaps out of it. "Right. Yeah. That sounds good." She's probably celebrating internally, thinking, _now I can have Len all to myself!_ (It's not like it's any different when I'm around, though.)

We say our goodbyes, and I go home to my average home and average family.

* * *

Mum asks why I'm home so early and not doing something with Len (and Miku). It's pretty usual we do things on Saturday afternoons—it's something we've done since the beginning of middle school. I haven't really told her much about my problems yet, so I just say that I'm feeling too tired to do anything today. She gives me this weird look but let's me go off to my bedroom to wrap myself in my duvet of gloom.

Of course, about half-an-hour later, she comes in and sits on the edge of my bed. Her motherly instincts obviously tell her something is up… which sucks. "Rin, honey, is there something going on between you and Len?"

If she had said this in a different tone, it could've sounded like she was suspecting we were secretly having sex in the art rooms after school. Which we aren't. Obviously.

I sigh. I don't really feel like talking, but I know Mum will keep persisting until I tell her.

"I like Len," I say bluntly. It's best I probably start with that.

"That's obvious," Mum responds. "Of course, probably not to him, unless…?" She gives me this sly look. Yeah, no. It's not happening.

I roll my eyes and continue. "Well, yeah. And recently this girl called Miku has started hanging out with us. And it's apparent they really like each other because they're doing all that gross teenage-crush stuff. Of course, no one is admitting it or saying anything because I haven't seen them kissing or hugging or holding hands—but it's just really obvious, okay?" Mum nods, this sympathetic look on her face.

Oh, please. You like, met Dad when you were two and you were in love for forever—don't try sympathising with me.

"They keep doing things with each other and they'll keep inviting me along, but it's horrible because I'm technically a third wheel the entire time. I don't know why they—well, Len specifically—keeps asking for me to come along, especially since they ignore me most of the time and I'm clearly not enjoying it. I want to tell him—they—I don't want to hang out with them anymore because of this… but I don't know how, without sounding rude, so I just keep lying about things. Like… I still want to be friends… but I don't want to be a third wheel, because it hurts." I look at Mum and she's sitting there, a thoughtful look on her face.

After a minute of silence, she says, "I'll call up his mum and have a chat to her." Oh God. "Did he go out with Miku today, too? Is that why you're upset?"

I nod, and she purses her lips. "I'll call Lily up and ask her if Len has had that girl over and see if she knows whether they're dating."

"How is that going to actually help the situation?" I ask. If anything, it'll make it worse.

"Well, I'll explain that you're upset because you're third-wheeling a lot… and if Lily doesn't know about this girl, maybe she could ask how he thinks of you and how he thinks of that girl—Meku, is it?"

"Miku," I correct in monotone.

Mum nods, and continues speaking, "Lily already knows you like him. Your dad and his dad already know too. Actually, we were planning your wedding because we thought he liked you too but… hmm—"

"_Please_ stop." This was embarrassing.

She grins defiantly, knowing it was humiliating me. "Well, I'll ask her about it and see what she can do. But… maybe it's best to be honest about how you feel. You don't have to tell him you like him—but maybe, if you want to say you don't want to hang out with him anymore, you should just explain that you feel like a third wheel when you're around them, and that it's no fun for you because you're being ignored. He'll still probably feel hurt… but you're feeling hurt too, aren't you?"

"Yeah…" I agree, as much as I am reluctant about her plan.

"You could try calling him tonight. Then you won't have to say it too his face, at least." That sounds horrible, but I'd much prefer not seeing his face. (Of course, I would have to hear the tone change in his voice, which is _worse_…)

I make a half-assed sound of agreement, which is more so a 'maybe' in my vocabulary.

She leaves to call Len's mum and I stay in my duvet of gloom, thinking about having to say those things tonight. I don't really want to, but I want to. I like Len, and I want to hang out with him, but I don't want to hang out with Len _and_ Miku, especially if they're a couple.

Life sucks when you're average. But this is pretty much the most drama I've had in my life.

I'm still wrapped in the duvet when Mum comes back in after getting off the phone with Lily—like, six hours later (they talk _so_ much).

She sits on the edge of my bed. "Unfortunately Lily knows nothing about Miku, so she'll ask him when he gets home later. However, she does agree that calling him tonight to talk is the best thing to do. She said she'll message me about what Len says, I'll let you know what he does say, okay?"

"Okay," I mumble.

Mum gives me this long, hard look, before getting up to leave.

* * *

About five minutes later, I hear my phone sound from my bag and reach over to pull it out. I have a text message from Len. I frown at it. Maybe he has telekinetic powers and knows what's going on… and he's going to confront me about it.

I open the text.

_Hey Rin, are you okay?_

He sends another while I'm reading his first text.

_Because you seemed kind of upset today and I feel really bad for not asking about it._

No, that's good you didn't ask about it.

I stare at the screen for a few minutes before sending one back.

**Aren't you supposed to be with Miku?**

Oh God, I sound so jealous in that. I'm about to send something else covering it up, but he replies,

_Oh, well there was no point in bowling without you there, so we just decided to go to lunch at Kamata. I'm on the train home now._

I mattered that much? Maybe he's trying to make me feel bad. I respond,

**Okay.**

He sends another shortly after.

_Are you alright? Do you want to talk?_

No. Talking sounds like a very bad idea.

**I'm fine. Just tired. Thanks for asking though.**

He takes a while to reply, and his reply is simply an, 'Okay.' I wonder if he actually believed me or not. However it was through a text—I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be able to tell whether I was lying.

I set my phone aside and lay down. I know he's trying to be nice but I wish he didn't care. The reason why he probably invites me along with Miku is probably so I don't feel left out… but I feel left out even _with_ them.

And although I always knew I'd have no chance with someone as amazing as Len I still let myself fall for him, and I still let myself feel hurt over these stupid things. I want to crawl out of my skin—my life—and become someone else and forget all about this.

I guess you can't NOT like Len at some point though. He's charismatic, smart, friendly—he's tall and good-looking, and he's got a sense of humour—things that girls would kill for. I don't understand why we, when we're so different, would even be friends—but I guess we became friends before I really knew how not fantastic I was.

And frankly I wonder if he's just being my friend now out of pity. He knows he's great and everyone loves him—I'm pretty sure at one point he's looked at me and been like, "This girl is really not interesting. She's kind of bringing me down. But I feel sorry for her and don't want to see her by herself."

I really don't think he would still be friends with me right now for the sake of being friends. Honestly, what's so great about me? I'm short and I look like my face has been run over by a truck. The only thing that's curvy is my butt and the love handles that are developing as of late (probably because I've been eating too much chocolate… but _chocolate_). I could use my chest as a drawing board. My personality is completely boring, I can sometimes be really blunt and annoying, and my humour is about as dead as Hitler. I have no talents, as far as I'm concerned, unless cleaning counts as one. I have no real goals and I'm kind of just living… for the sake of living.

Wow. Rin Kagamine. Absolute girlfriend material (not).

I think I fall asleep sometime because the next minute I'm being woken up by someone coming into my room. "Rin?" Mum asks.

I open my eyes. "Mm?"

"Lily just messaged me." Oh, yay. "Do you want me to tell you what she said?" she asks. No, not really. But please, do so.

I nod, closing my eyes again. "Go for it."

Mum clears her throat. "She said that she sat him down and asked him if he has been dating anyone at all. He said no, and then asked why, and she explained that she had heard from someone that they'd seen him with a girl—and she'd specified 'Not Rin,'—and she was only curious if he had someone he liked. Then apparently he turned red and said, 'Rin told you I was dating Miku?'"—my eyes shot open in panic, but Mum doesn't notice and continues casually—"Lily corrected, 'No, I meant you were hanging out with a girl other than Rin,' and he was all like, 'Oh. Well, yeah. I'm friends with Miku but I'm not dating her. I don't like her in that way.'"

She pauses to look at me. I bite my lip—I'm relieved, but confused. "And then she said she asked him why he didn't tell her about Miku and he just stated that he didn't feel a need to, because they're only just friends. And he mentioned she's dating a guy called Kaito and she's been asking for advice from him. Lily then asked if he had a girl he liked while on that topic. He then apparently turned purple and asked to talk about it later."

He turned _purple?_ Maybe he's actually gay and doesn't know how to say it. I don't know, but I don't turn purple on the thought of Len, really.

Mum purses her lips. "I have a feeling he likes you."

"Yeah," I say, unconvinced. "_No_. Why would he turn _purple?_ That's a bit… far. If he liked me I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be _that_ embarrassed about it."

She shrugs. "Boys are strange creatures, Rin."

Human beings are strange creatures, full stop. We base our lives around this so thing called 'love' and it falls apart when we don't get it back in return.

Mum opens her mouth to say something else, but is cut off by the phone ringing. She frowns and leaves, and I sigh, closing my eyes. My brain is hurting and everyone is confusing me. Why would Miku hang out with Len so much if she's dating a guy though? That's messed up.

Mum comes back in two seconds later, this manic look on her face. She holds out the phone and mouths the word _Len_. Cue the Threnody to the Victims of Hiroshima here. I take the phone and bring it to my ear. "Hello?" I say gingerly.

I notice Mum has disappeared.

"Rin?" Len responds. "Hi. Sorry to ring if you're busy… but I just think we should talk. We haven't really talked one-on-one in a while and I think maybe we should?" He sounds confused himself, for whatever reason.

I hesitate. "Uh, okay… what do you want to talk about?" He's silent for a while. "Len?"

"…things?" he answers awkwardly after a few seconds.

"What kind of things?" I don't even know what to talk about either. Frankly, I would like to be all, "ARE YOU QUEER? PLEASE BE HONEST." But that would just… yeah. That's not safe.

"You… kind-of-things?" he mumbles.

I almost laugh, but instead I snort. "What's so interesting about me?" I ask.

I can imagine him shrugging to the question. "Well, I just want to know what's happening with you. You never really say much about you. It's always me… Or Miku, you know? But what about you?"

"I never have anything to say about myself?" I say, now also sounding confused.

"Well, how are you? What are you doing right now? What are you doing tomorrow? How are your grades? Are you okay?" he offers.

Frowning, I sigh. Don't tell me he's still going to go on about it. "I already said I was fine, if that's what you're calling about—"

"I know," Len responds. "I know what you said. But are you _okay?_"

"Yes, I am okay," I answer bluntly.

He's quiet. "You're not."

Oh my _God_. He's turned all psychologist on me. What happens if I just—_don't…?_ "Len, I—"

"Rin," he interrupts. "I can tell when you're lying because you _suck_ at lying. Telling me you're fine, you're just tired, is the first excuse someone comes up with when they're not okay, because even _I_ use those stupid excuses. Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Is it me? Have I done something wrong? Don't you trust me?"

I take the phone away from my ear, considering hanging up. I know it's mean, but… I'm just not in the mood. I'm sick of just… being me. I just don't feel like telling Len about my thoughts right now. I'm not in the mood for rejection.

I reluctantly put the phone back up to my ear.

"Rin, are you still there?"

I close my eyes and sigh.

"Yes," I answer tiredly. Unfortunately. He doesn't say anything—probably expecting for an answer to his questions before. "Just… it's not that I don't trust you, Len. Of course I trust you. I've always trusted you. I—I… just…" I stop speaking before it makes it anymore obvious that I'm about to cry. I'm so _pathetic_. This is embarrassing to my pride.

"You're not actually busy at the moment, are you? Can I see you?" he asks, his voice softer this time.

No, you may not. But yes, you may.

"Yeah," I murmur.

There's some shuffling from his side. "Alright. I'll be there in 10 minutes." And he hangs up.

I stare at the phone in my hand, before unravelling myself from the duvet. I have 10 minutes to make myself not look like I've been huddling in a blanket of depression all afternoon.

When I come out of my bedroom to go to the bathroom, Mum exclaims, "Wow, you're on the move. What happened?" She means it in a lewd way, and so I just shoot a glare over my shoulder.

"Len's coming over," I state, putting the phone back on the holder.

"Oh?" is her response. "Why?"

I shrug and duck into the bathroom to brush my hair down. I strip off my school uniform and throw it in the wash basket, before setting back off to my bedroom, half-naked, to find a new set of clothes. After I put something (which, I describe to be the, 'I'm not trying to look good for you, rather I'm just trying to look good in general' outfit), I try to make my room look less feral, or as much as you can make a room look less feral in less than five minutes.

When I'm in the middle of shoving the mess on my desk in a drawer, I hear Mum's voice ring out, "Len's here!"

I force it shut with my hip and exhale. I must not cry. That is the game plan.

When I walk out, Len is standing in the kitchen with my mum, who's showing him my art homework. "Isn't she magnificent?" she's asking, and Len is nodding slowly but I can tell he's not really interested by the look on his face. He's got a causal set of clothes on—a button-up shirt and jeans—and is holding a plastic bag. Len's fashion style is essentially 'whatever I see first in the closet that matches'.

I clear my throat and they both jump. "I already showed him that yesterday," I state. It wasn't that good, really. I would go on about it, but…

"Oh, well I can't read minds," Mum says, getting huffy. Len just laughs politely. "Well, I'll leave you two to it." She leaves the kitchen, probably with dirty thoughts in mind (thank you, Mum), and we stand there for a few minutes in silence.

I can't look at Len so I just kind of nod my head in the direction of my bedroom. "This way," I say awkwardly. We walk together without a word, and when we reach my bedroom I shut the door behind him. That was unintentionally very dirty sounding, but I wasn't shutting my door for _those_ reasons.

Len seems to not care about this—quote, "Hey, my flat-chested best friend wouldn't lead me into her room to rape me."—and perches on my desk chair. "I hope you don't mind I sit here?" he asks, plonking his bag onto the floor.

"Sit anywhere you like," I answer, sitting on my bed across from him. Sit on the fan. Sit outside the front door. Maybe sit on the train back to your house.

Silence.

Len coughs. "So…" he begins. "I bought some food. And other things. But mainly food." He gestures to the plastic bag at his feet, before pulling a packet of daifuku out. "You want some?"

I nod. He opens it up and hands me one. Maybe he is here to drown me in food. That would be nice. "Thanks," I mumble.

Another silence, except for our chewing.

"Well… yeah," Len says expectantly. "Talk to me, Rin. Please."

For the first time I look up at him. He furrows his eyebrows. "Just… please tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything, I promise. I just want to talk to you."

"Why?" I ask quietly.

Len frowns. "Because I'm here for you… I'm your best friend and I'm here for you."

I close my eyes. "I don't know what you want me to say," I state. He's kind of being obsessive. It's creepy. What does he want me to even say? _I'm the spawn of Dracula_. _I have a sixth toe on my left foot._

He sighs and stands, walking over to me. He sits on the bed beside me and places an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his chest, like an extremely awkward half-hug. "You've been different. You've been distancing yourself around me and it's weird. Have I done something wrong? Be honest."

Len smells nice. I think he's completely unaware of what he's just done to me. "No, you've done nothing wrong…" I say into his shirt.

"Then why have you been lying to me?"

"I-I just…" I sigh. "I feel like a third wheel."

Len leans away to look at me, his eyebrows raised. "What?"

My cheeks start to burn and I look down at my hands. "I feel like a third wheel. You keep asking me to go out with you _and_ Miku, and every time I'm completely ignored. Do you not realise that? Or are you too busy being infatuated with her?" Wow, okay. This is coming out not in the way I wanted to. I'm living up to my name.

He bites his lip, apparently taken aback. "What do you mean 'infatuated'? Do you think we're an item or something? What is with everyone thinking I'm dating Miku today?"

"Well you seem to act like you're dating. Minus the public shows of affection," I mutter.

Len's silent, a slightly angry kind-of-silent. "Well, Miku has a boyfriend. I'm not interested in her, either, I'm only just trying to be nice. I like someone else."

"Well it's weird—" I pause mid-sentence. "You like someone else?"

He nods his head, looking away. I notice he's turning pink. _Really?_ My hopes were going out like a city during a blackout. I couldn't help myself, though. "Who?"

"Uh—um," he stutters, doing his infamous nervous habit: scratching the back of his neck. "Let's not talk about this right now…"

"Is it a girl?" I ask.

"Rin—" He looks uncomfortable.

I lean forward. "It's a guy, isn't it?"

"_No!_" he exclaims, flushing, leaning further away. "At least, as far as I'm concerned, she's a female."

"Is she in our grade?"

"Oh my _God,_ Rin, I—" He looks at me. Then he looks down. I realise that I'd moved closer to him and had my hand on his upper thigh to stop myself from falling. _Why_ he had that reaction—considering he was already in my room, on my bed, with the door closed—it was a mystery. I wasn't even close to touching his crotch or anything.

I remove my hand. "Well, is she?"

"Why do you want to know so much?" he questions, flustered. This is both amusing yet painful at the same time.

"Well, why do you want to know so badly about my problems?" I inquire back.

Len opens and closes his mouth, temporarily speechless. "I'm your friend… I care about you."

I raise an eyebrow. "Right back at you."

"I don't really understand how wanting to know the girl I like is you caring about me… more so you just being nosey." Ahh yes, thank you Len, for once again reminding me about how horrible of a human I am.

I'm silent, holding his gaze for a moment. "Leave, please."

Len blinks. "What?"

"Get out of my room. Preferably, get out of this house. Please and thank you." I am a bitch, alongside a large list of other things (i.e. nosey).

"You can't—this is stupid, Rin. You're kicking me out of your house because of—what? I won't tell you who I like? How about _you_ tell me who _you_ like?" he snaps.

I stand and he follows my movements with his gaze, lips pressed into a line of frustration. I'd never really tried pissing Len off before, and I do have some regrets because he probably now hates me, but he's pissing me off as well, so I can't be bothered to care right now.

"You want to know who I like?" I say. My voice has gone all pitchy and high, kind of like how Ezma's sounds in Kuzko's New Groove.

I step up to him. I take a breath.

_And…_

I punch him in the face. Accidentally. I didn't actually process that I was going to do that.

Len's eyes roll back into his head and he falls off the bed with a _thud_. After a few seconds of staring at his unconscious body in utter amazement and shock (I just knocked out my best friend, okay? My male best friend. And I am a two centimetre high female with zero power. It's a miracle) I start freaking out.

"MUM!" I scream. "MUM! _MUUUUUM!_"

Mum comes running into the room. "What?!"

"I just killed Len! Accidentally!" I yell, pointing at his body on the floor, which was now moving slightly.

She gives me this horrified look, and asks, "What did you do?"

I move away from him because he'd just opened his eyes. "I punched him in the face. It wasn't intentional. I was angry and my body had otherwise objectives," I explain. Len groans. "I'm going to go drown myself in the bathtub."

Mum crouches down beside Len, totally oblivious to my last comment. "Go get an ice-pack. I sure hope you didn't break something," she tells me. "It would be awkward to tell Lily that you broke her son's nose after what happened today."

I laugh nervously at that last statement and walk out. My hand is starting to hurt now. _A lot_. Len's face is made out of bricks or something.

When I return with an icepack Len is sitting up looking sort of dazed. Mum is asking him if he's okay—if he can remember what just happened, how many fingers she's holding up, et cetera, et cetera. He's answering all the questions correctly, which is good… I guess. I'm totally confused though. I just knocked him out with my fist. My measly baby hand just made Len unconscious.

_? ?_

I try to stand within a metres distance from Len and reach over awkwardly to hand him the icepack. He takes it and places it against his cheek. "Am I grounded?" I ask Mum when she gets up. "Because if I am, can my punishment be me being thrown off Tokyo Sky Tree?"

Mum rolls her eyes. "I'm still deciding. I didn't bring you up to punch house guests to your liking. You better apologise to Len, though. He seems a bit shell-shocked." I would be too, frankly.

She leaves the room for whatever reason and I stand there, staring at Len uncertainly. He's completely avoiding my gaze. That's it. He hates me. Mission accomplished. Congrats, Rin. You suck. I stride over awkwardly to his side.

"I didn't actually intend on punching you in the face, and in fact I completely understand if you hate me because I hate me too," I say. "I'm sorry."

He blinks. "No… I don't hate you. That just caught me by surprise. I wasn't expecting you to physically abuse me, of all things."

"Well, the more you know," I answer. "You should probably hate me, though, like a normal human being would."

Len just shakes his head. "I could never hate you, even if you probably stabbed me in the stomach." He pauses, "Actually, yeah, I probably would hate you if you stabbed me in the stomach." I bite my lip.

I crouch down next to him and study his face. A purplish bruise was taking form on his cheekbone. "You'd probably hate me after this," I state. I don't know what I'm thinking. I don't know what I'm doing. But this is going to be _incredibly _cliché. Like, Dolly magazine scenario cliché.

He raises his eyebrows, and opens his mouth, right as I lean in to his face. That was awful timing of course, because first of all, my mouth went kind of… _into_ his mouth? And he kind of sat there with his mouth hanging open, and my lips half touching his tongue. So I pulled away, being like, _yeah no, this is gross_, with his saliva all over my mouth and my face probably turning the shade of cherry tomato because that was the biggest fail in the history of fails. Just a heads-up: it wasn't magical. It was awkward as heck.

Len looks confused, and then I'm looking confused, because what? Then he opens his mouth again. And closes it. And opens it, once again, finally to say my exact thoughts: "Mnflfkskewjfj."

Ah yes, _mnflfkskewjfj_. I agree. It's best to probably to escape now before he gains his language abilities back and further plunges me into a coma of humiliation. So I start to slide my butt backwards against the floor in the direction for my bedroom door.

He opens his mouth again. "You kissed my tongue."

I throw myself onto the floor and cover my ears. "NO!" I shout loudly. Please don't remind me of my social suicide. I then resume making my way to the door by worming my body across the floor.

However, Len has noticed my escaping, and grabs hold of my ankle. And then he starts dragging me back towards him. No. No. _No._ "You kissed my tongue?" he repeats, but now he's asking it more as a question.

I wail and curl up into a ball. "I don't _knowwwwww_," is my response, muffled by my hands. "That wasn't the game plan."

I hear movement, which I consider to be Len's, and I hope it's him escaping, thinking, '_This girl is a nutjob, God help me._' But two warm hands peel my hands from my face, and then there is a face—that belongs to Len—in front of my face.

He starts laughing.

He starts _laughing._

Laughing. In my _face_.

I attempt to push his face away from mine but he just slaps my hands out of the way and holds my wrists captive—oh God, this is starting to sound like _50 Shades of Grey_, I swear it's not going to be that way—so I can't use them to obstruct him.

Then _I _start to laugh. From embarrassment. And so now we're both laughing (at me).

It's not funny though. I don't know why I'm laughing. Did Len put drugs in that daifuku? Is he planning to rape me? Or even worse—cut me open and sell my organs on the black market? Or possibly, I'm just becoming hysterical from all this blood rushing to my head (the most reasonable option).

Eventually, he stops laughing and looks at me.

Now, let me just get something straight: there's just looking. And then there's… _the look_. Well, Len is giving me _the look_. And I stop laughing because it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

As I said before, Len is a very attractive person. _Very_. Like, his eyes? If it wasn't weird, I'd probably marry them or wear them as my own. He has these… _eyes_—(oh, _really?_ He has _eyes?_ Oh-em-gee. Rin, you're a genius)—the kind that pierce right through your soul. And they're blue—deep azure with lighter shades of aqua shards—like Atlantic caverns. I want to make babies with his eyes.

If my face wasn't already the shade of red velvet, it is now. Why does he keep making eye contact? Eye contact is weird. It's too… deep. I'm not that deep. I can't handle the suspense of looking into another person's eyes while they gaze into mine.

And even though I'm feeling greatly uncomfortable, my heart is all like _it's the look, Rin. It's the look. He's giving you the look. He wants to copulate with you._ And my brain is all like, _he's probably just realised how big the pores are on your nose. You should probably punch him before he notices anything else._

After this incredibly long and painful awkward silence, God himself speaks.

(Not really.)

"Why did you kiss me?" Len asks in this soft voice.

I blink, because I don't know. Well… I _do_ know—because I like him—but like, what was I expecting from the kiss? Marriage? Fairy wings? For him to discover I'm just a big weaboo and that he made a huge mistake on deciding to ever come here?

So I just sit there, staring at him like he just took a dump on my bed.

By the way, I'm seriously wondering where Mum is at. I don't know why she left, and why she hasn't checked on Len within the last ten minutes. Len could have fallen into an eternal coma of death from a concussion. He could've cut out my heart and started feasting on it. Oh, the possibilities.

Len touches my face. I know, that sounds weird. But he touches it—like, he strokes it like I'm a puppy? And I'm just sitting there being like, _wait, what?_ Even though it feels nice… I also feel completely awkward.

Let's just establish I'm always awkward. It's a permanent emotion with me. I'm the Queen of Awkward.

I then notice something strange. Len's face is getting larger. Or more so, getting closer. And he's got his hand running through my hair (I mean, my on-the-verge-of-being-a-boy's-haircut because-I-decided-to-cut-off-all-my-hair-a-month-ago-for-a-change but-then-discovered-it-just-made-me-look-like-a-prepuberscent-boy). About now, I start to become consciously aware of what's happening, and I'm just like: but? I'm not? I'm so ugly? What are you doing? Seriously? You're going to regret this? Did I even brush my teeth this morning? Oh my God?

It happens like so: at first I feel his breath on my face. I can tell you it's totally strange to have someone breathing on your face, but yeah, it's not like you can ask them to just stop breathing. Then his lips touch mine, and they're warm and gentle like I'd expected them to be (maybe I stare at his mouth a lot—sometimes I would daydream about lip-locking with him, okay? I'm a teenage girl, I have my fantasies). As soon as our lips touch, I feel this bubbly feeling inside my chest, like my heart is having a party and drinking a lot of champagne, and my head feels kind of light, and I forget where we are, or anything that happened before. (And by now, it finally starts to feel magical. Perhaps you could start playing the Disney theme in your head to add extra emotion.)

We kind of stay that way for a while. Just kissing. And I'm fine with that because Len is really good at kissing. He pulls away from me though eventually to breathe, and his cheeks are flushed, likewise what mine are probably like, too. He stares at me like he's expecting me to say something, and so I stammer out in between breaths, "I really, really like you. Maybe love you. Maybe that's a bit much. But whatever."

Len's lips curl up into a smile, and for a moment he just gazes at me, before whispering, "I love you too."

Hearing those words, from him directed to me, almost sent me into some sort of aneurysm. My heart does this triple flip in my chest and it feels like the biggest anxiety of my life was just washed away. "You're not serious," I say. I'm grinning, though.

He just laughs and pinches my cheek, before leaning in to kiss me again.

* * *

Maybe I was wrong about this whole average-people-can't-like-extraordinary-people-because-it's-never-going-to-happen thing. I guess there are exceptions. But it's hard to believe. Like, why does a potato like me have such an brilliant boyfriend? He must have really, really low standards.

It turned out Len was actually seeking advice from Miku about me, which explains why they suddenly became buddy-buddy. (You know, 'if it's a girl, surely another girl must know how she thinks'.) And apparently Miku is a slut, according to her now ex-boyfriend, Kaito (but he is also a slut, so… whatever), because she was trying to hit on Len the entire time (which probably explains… everything? I guess) and Len was just trying to play it off while being nice. He doesn't talk to her now, though. ("It was all about her and her wonderfulness," he quoted.)

And… yeah.

When we emerged from my bedroom after long talks and kisses, Len's family was casually sitting in our lounge room. Apparently Mum walked in when we're making out and called them immediately? Why are old people so _weird?_

"Rin?" Len says.

"Hmm?" We're on the phone at ungodly hours of the morning. Talking about nothing particularly important, which is what I specialise in.

"Goodnight," he murmurs.

"Goodnight."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

I hear him chuckle. "Well, I love you _more_."

"We've already established that I love you most. I loved you for like, three years longer than you loved me. Therefore, I win," I answer.

END

* * *

the ending was lame because I didn't know how to end it oops

please review


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